I was recently out at the bar. (I live in Ireland, please don't act surprised by this). This is not something new. In fact, I've been frequenting bars since May, 2009. You meet some fun people at bars and pubs. It gives you the opportunity to expand your horizons and have new and exciting conversations. I have found, however, that there is a question I have come to dread. I cringe the moment I feel the question coming. I wish I was invisible when the words come out of the persons mouth.
... "What do you study?"
Okay, maybe the wishing to become invisible and cringing is a little over dramatic. But, I really dread the question.
You see, I am getting a Master's of Philosophy in Intercultural Theology and Interreligious Studies. Also, to add to my nerd collection, I have a Master's of Arts in International Peace and Conflict Resolution. And a Bachelor's of Arts in Theology. I normally don't get passed the first degree in these conversations however. And, in recent months have shortened my answers to "Religion and Theology". It is somehow easier for people to comprehend.
Not to give myself an ego boost (on purpose anyway) but these degrees make me pretty awesome. The trouble comes not with the nerd-y-ness of having (almost) 3 degrees but in what they are in. This is particularly true for the last one. Also, on the universal list of things people don't like to talk about, religion and theology are up there pretty high. Interestingly enough, despite them being on the top of the 'do not talk about' list, people I have encountered are pretty willing to talk about them.
Before people are willing to talk about it, however, there is the period of confusion and questioning that comes along with it. Heads turn a little to the side like a dog who is confused. Eyebrows go up. And I'm pretty sure every single person thinks to themselves, 'Is this girl one of those crazy religious people?' The cool thing is, once we get those weird parts out of the way the conversation can be really great.
But there is still a part of me who dreads the question. And I have to reflect on why. And, more importantly, what to do about it.
I can tell you without a doubt why I dread this question: it makes me feel weird. It is one of those 'you picked the strangest academic path possible once and now you are doing it again, you big dummy' feeling. But, as I have reflected more on this question and my life over the past few days, I have come to realize there is something deeper that surpasses the weird feelings I get with this question. And this is the part that helps me reflect on what to do next.
Sure, there is part of me that wishes I had picked another path in life. That I had gotten a degree in Criminal Justice or Nursing or that I wanted to be a doctor or a lawyer.. Those choices would have made the 'what do you study' question less awkward to answer. But those choices are not what I am passionate about.
And passion is the key to this.
Before I came to Ireland I worked at Target. Now, if you know me, you'll know that I think Target is awesome and in reality I could spend all my money there. But, I dreaded going to work most days. The job wasn't fulfilling or exciting. It was dull and boring. It was not at all what I am passionate about.
On the flip side, the thought of being able to go to work everyday and build community with college students is thrilling. The prospects have having serious conversations about things that matter is amazing. The idea of being able to educate students (and others) on things that are happening in the world so they can go make a difference makes me want to do a happy dance. The thought of interacting with individuals with different backgrounds, religions and experiences and learning from those individuals is awesome. I could go on, but I'll stop.
The point is, passion is key. The question is awkward. The looks you get are not at all helpful on you quest to the future. But despite all of that, if you remain passionate and excited about your future the rest won't matter.
As individuals, we have been provided gifts, talents and characteristics that make us perfect for a specific field of study or a job. If we are lucky we will be able to grow into those things, become passionate about them and ultimately change the world.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Sunday, June 16, 2013
My Actions and Your Actions
If you have decided to use this blog as a way of keeping yourself updated on the life and times of Maureen Plover, you're in luck because I'm going to give you just that!
If you stumbled upon my life last week you would have come to find that I was preparing myself for a second job interview for a campus minister position. As of this past Thursday at 9:30 Irish time I did not get the job. Oh well, Texas is too hot anyway. However, out of this not so fabulous news came a conversation that I like to see as a silver lining to my rejection and what prompted this post. Here we go:
So, here I am, Thursday night enjoying myself some Guinness with my friend Adrian when I got the job rejection e-mail. This of course caused for more drinking, but that is a story for another time! Anyway, after the initial shock, the conversation turned to a reflection on life and how we ended up to that point in time. I found myself recounting the ever important story of how my plans for after my college graduation didn't go as smoothly as I had hoped for. I found myself reflecting on what could have been if things had gone differently. Not what if I had done something differently, but if things in general had gone differently, because I think there is a difference.
Perplexed? Yeah, don't worry, Adrian was too! I'll explain.
I make the distinction between the two as seeing life in terms of things you personally did or did not do AND reflecting on the things that others did or did not do. Both are surely connected but if taken separately there's a different type of reflection involved.
Here's the story for reflecting on the question of "What if I did/did not..." in reference to my senior year of college:
My experiences leading up to my senior year of college led me to believe that the cool thing to do after graduation was a year of service. A lot of my friends were doing it so I assumed that's what I was supposed to do. I started looking into programs and found some and applied to them. I went on to interviews in Chicago and Phoenix. Neither of those options panned out and I decided to go to grad school instead of going out to find a big girl job. During my first year of grad school I made the decision to transfer to another program. During my second year of grad school I decided to go to Ireland for the year. And here I am.
Here's the story for reflecting on the question of "What could have been if someone else did/did not..." also in reference to my senior year of college:
When I told my mom and dad I was thinking about doing a year of service my dad had no clue what I was talking about and urged me to look into grad school too. On his advice I found myself looking into peace, justice and conflict resolution programs and I feel in love with one particular program but I ignored it because I was geared up to go do a year of service. As I mentioned earlier, the year of service programs didn't pan out because the one program I really liked didn't accept me. I ended up going to grad school because my very good friend Robyn said I could live in her attic and my other personal connections allowed me to get a job. I transferred grad programs because a professor I respect very much encouraged me to go out and find something else. I came to Ireland because the first grad program I picked put a high emphasis on studying abroad and allowed me to have this experience. And here I am.
Both of these reflections ultimately got me to the same place: Dublin, Ireland. But, if one thing had been different, whether on the part of me or someone else, I may not be in this exact place, in this exact moment writing this post. I may have not had experiences that changed me for the better or experiences that tested who I am as a person. I may have not met some of my best friends or learned that there is in fact an alcohol family tree. Had one single thing been different, I would have been different.
It is vital to take time to reflect on your life and think about the things you could have done differently. But it is equally important to reflect on how your life could have been different if someone else had done something different.
As humans, we are forever affected by not just our own actions but the actions of others.
If you stumbled upon my life last week you would have come to find that I was preparing myself for a second job interview for a campus minister position. As of this past Thursday at 9:30 Irish time I did not get the job. Oh well, Texas is too hot anyway. However, out of this not so fabulous news came a conversation that I like to see as a silver lining to my rejection and what prompted this post. Here we go:
So, here I am, Thursday night enjoying myself some Guinness with my friend Adrian when I got the job rejection e-mail. This of course caused for more drinking, but that is a story for another time! Anyway, after the initial shock, the conversation turned to a reflection on life and how we ended up to that point in time. I found myself recounting the ever important story of how my plans for after my college graduation didn't go as smoothly as I had hoped for. I found myself reflecting on what could have been if things had gone differently. Not what if I had done something differently, but if things in general had gone differently, because I think there is a difference.
Perplexed? Yeah, don't worry, Adrian was too! I'll explain.
I make the distinction between the two as seeing life in terms of things you personally did or did not do AND reflecting on the things that others did or did not do. Both are surely connected but if taken separately there's a different type of reflection involved.
Here's the story for reflecting on the question of "What if I did/did not..." in reference to my senior year of college:
My experiences leading up to my senior year of college led me to believe that the cool thing to do after graduation was a year of service. A lot of my friends were doing it so I assumed that's what I was supposed to do. I started looking into programs and found some and applied to them. I went on to interviews in Chicago and Phoenix. Neither of those options panned out and I decided to go to grad school instead of going out to find a big girl job. During my first year of grad school I made the decision to transfer to another program. During my second year of grad school I decided to go to Ireland for the year. And here I am.
Here's the story for reflecting on the question of "What could have been if someone else did/did not..." also in reference to my senior year of college:
When I told my mom and dad I was thinking about doing a year of service my dad had no clue what I was talking about and urged me to look into grad school too. On his advice I found myself looking into peace, justice and conflict resolution programs and I feel in love with one particular program but I ignored it because I was geared up to go do a year of service. As I mentioned earlier, the year of service programs didn't pan out because the one program I really liked didn't accept me. I ended up going to grad school because my very good friend Robyn said I could live in her attic and my other personal connections allowed me to get a job. I transferred grad programs because a professor I respect very much encouraged me to go out and find something else. I came to Ireland because the first grad program I picked put a high emphasis on studying abroad and allowed me to have this experience. And here I am.
Both of these reflections ultimately got me to the same place: Dublin, Ireland. But, if one thing had been different, whether on the part of me or someone else, I may not be in this exact place, in this exact moment writing this post. I may have not had experiences that changed me for the better or experiences that tested who I am as a person. I may have not met some of my best friends or learned that there is in fact an alcohol family tree. Had one single thing been different, I would have been different.
It is vital to take time to reflect on your life and think about the things you could have done differently. But it is equally important to reflect on how your life could have been different if someone else had done something different.
As humans, we are forever affected by not just our own actions but the actions of others.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
"It's absolutely terrifying but I will not be screwed out of the life I want."
The little bio on the side of this beautiful blog says that I have a tendency to ask 'why' and that I am convinced that the universe is not finished with me yet. For me, these are two essential things when talking about active citizenship. In addition to these important characteristics, it is equally important to discuss the times when I'm (we are) being held back by something.
For me, in this moment, it is fear.
Allow me to bring you up to speed: I've been on the hunt for a campus minister job, mainly at colleges or universities. I've sent out at least 20 resumes and cover letters and up to writing have had three interviews. Out of those three interviews I knew I didn't want the one job, I really wanted one of them and there are mixed feelings about the third one. I ended up not getting a second interview for the first two jobs. The one job was not that big of a deal because I didn't want it anyway. The second one was a big let down because I really, really wanted the job. But alas, it didn't work out. (Who likes Rhode Island anyways?)
The last interview I had just recently turned into a second interview, which is in a few short hours. At this point I expect you to be asking yourself why the heck this post is about fear when I am hours away from a second job interview. Solid question. Here's why...
When we find something, whether it be a job, a relationship, or college, we as humans put a huge emphasis on them. They become our 'dream job/relationship/college' and we can't imagine having anything else. Unfortunately, sometimes things just don't work out. There is someone else out in the world that is better suited for the job. There is another person who fits into your life just a little better. The college you applied to just doesn't have enough room. We get let down; we get our hearts broken. The thing is, that despite our sadness and our broken hearts we get back up and start looking again. We find other things that make us excited and could be a new possibility.
This is where the fear comes in though. Here I am looking a second job interview in the face for what seems to be a wonderful university with wonderful people and I am terrified that I could potentially make the wrong decision (if it even comes to that). We all have those moments when we compare the 'what ifs' to the 'what could bes'. If you don't you're a better person than I am. The key to getting past that is to own those concerns, those fears.
I have my own person journal that I have neglected for months and today I decided to dust it off and write. When I have been away from journaling for a while I take the time to page through and read some of the stuff I have written. I like to think it of my past self teaching my present self something. I found an entry from this past March and started reading. It was from that that I found the title for this post.
"It is absolutely terrifying but I will not be screwed out of the life I want."
Life is meant to be scary. We are meant to question when we can't figure out which way is up. But we also have to know that despite the fear and confusion there is a life we have dreamed about. The whole thing may not turn out exactly how we dreamed it would but we will get to experience a world and life that will blow our minds.
It is okay to be terrified, just don't get screwed out of the life you want.
For me, in this moment, it is fear.
Allow me to bring you up to speed: I've been on the hunt for a campus minister job, mainly at colleges or universities. I've sent out at least 20 resumes and cover letters and up to writing have had three interviews. Out of those three interviews I knew I didn't want the one job, I really wanted one of them and there are mixed feelings about the third one. I ended up not getting a second interview for the first two jobs. The one job was not that big of a deal because I didn't want it anyway. The second one was a big let down because I really, really wanted the job. But alas, it didn't work out. (Who likes Rhode Island anyways?)
The last interview I had just recently turned into a second interview, which is in a few short hours. At this point I expect you to be asking yourself why the heck this post is about fear when I am hours away from a second job interview. Solid question. Here's why...
When we find something, whether it be a job, a relationship, or college, we as humans put a huge emphasis on them. They become our 'dream job/relationship/college' and we can't imagine having anything else. Unfortunately, sometimes things just don't work out. There is someone else out in the world that is better suited for the job. There is another person who fits into your life just a little better. The college you applied to just doesn't have enough room. We get let down; we get our hearts broken. The thing is, that despite our sadness and our broken hearts we get back up and start looking again. We find other things that make us excited and could be a new possibility.
This is where the fear comes in though. Here I am looking a second job interview in the face for what seems to be a wonderful university with wonderful people and I am terrified that I could potentially make the wrong decision (if it even comes to that). We all have those moments when we compare the 'what ifs' to the 'what could bes'. If you don't you're a better person than I am. The key to getting past that is to own those concerns, those fears.
I have my own person journal that I have neglected for months and today I decided to dust it off and write. When I have been away from journaling for a while I take the time to page through and read some of the stuff I have written. I like to think it of my past self teaching my present self something. I found an entry from this past March and started reading. It was from that that I found the title for this post.
"It is absolutely terrifying but I will not be screwed out of the life I want."
Life is meant to be scary. We are meant to question when we can't figure out which way is up. But we also have to know that despite the fear and confusion there is a life we have dreamed about. The whole thing may not turn out exactly how we dreamed it would but we will get to experience a world and life that will blow our minds.
It is okay to be terrified, just don't get screwed out of the life you want.
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